Used to be a ‘new’ Jersey Girl   : now A Colorado Girl

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Alone with my thoughts

IMG 7802

Yikes. Give me time by myself, alone with my thoughts, add in a couple of glasses of wine and beware. 

I've been pondering lots of things lately. It would seem I am surrounded by people re-inventing themselves. My neighbors joined Weight Watchers and lost a lot of weight and started working out at the gym. I checked out what was okay for WW and I tried some of things that were okay to eat.  Hmm. Okay to eat maybe for people who don't have any taste buds or who don't care what kind of stuff they put into their bodies. No fats whatsoever are allowed. Not even fats that are actually good for your body.  Somehow I don't think it is "healthy." Some of the breads taste like cardboard. Why bother for a few less fat calories? I guess I don't get it. Okay. I do, but I don't. Rick and I did the South Beach Diet things years ago and although it worked for me, I love food too much to get too bogged down in the what-to-eat vs the what-not-to-eats. Another friend drinks only whey shakes during the day. Yes, she's lost weight (and was not overweight at all to begin with) but really? I would love to lose three pounds. Maybe four, but life is too short to limit oneself to such extreme measures at my age. Moderation is the key. And accepting yourself for who you are, and accepting your body for what it is at any age is a good thing. Our society today places too much emphasis on what we look like.

Besides, I have my own diet: the 3 Dog Diet. If you haven't heard of it before this, well you have now. Take a handful of anything. It can be junk food, good food, whatever, it doesn't really matter. Take the portion you just took for yourself and divide it between yourself and three eager dogs. There you have it — the 3 Dog Diet. Another version is order a hamburger (or any other alternative nasty fast food object) and eat all but the last three bites, thereby dividing it between three dogs' mouths. Voilà: instant diet!

My sister shared with me yesterday that she is contemplating, well, something major for changing her life up.

And me? Nothing as lofty as either of the aforementioned things.          

And therein lies the question: is there something wrong with me that I have no goals to set, no burning desire to do or be something? Am I just complacent? Or am I just lazy?  Or even worse, afraid? I don't know the answer to that. I only know that I don't feel a need at this time in my life to "fix things" and hopefully that is okay.  Somehow it seems other than okay to just sit back and enjoy life without having some lofty goal in sight. Is it okay to be at a place in life where you don't feel the need to improve or reinvent while everyone around you seems to be doing just that?

Maybe it's because I've challenged myself a lot throughout my life so far. Living in three different European countries, where at the time English was not widely spoken, was a pretty good challenge. Not only linguistically, but just day to day life.  Heck, even moving to New Jersey from Colorado was challenging in the fact that it was different. Culturally speaking, I might as well be living in a different country with the additional perk of still speaking the same language. Well, at least most of the time. But that's a subject for a different blog entry in the future. But you get my drift here.

I've led a full life filled with plenty of travel and challenges and right now I feel like I don't mind coasting along with the flow. Will I regret the coasting? Maybe, but I don't think so. I'm just not that kind of person. Getting to know the "real" you and being comfortable with that, to me, is what it's all about. I might be wrong in someone else's eyes, but for now, I think I'm who I am supposed to be. Am I perfect? No. But I think I can live with that.

But should I? Am I missing something?


Photo: Broken: A dejected chair on the porch of one of the old houses at Long Pond Ironworks.




Sent you an email as my REAL comment started to get too long, but I agree!!!

C, thanks for your thoughts in your email! wink

Hey, nothing wrong with feeling ok with yourself and your life. That’s great! People shouldn’t always having to be doing something to change themselves. Too many people do that because they aren’t comfortable with themselves.

It is just time for me to make some changes as I feel my life slipping away—-(getting older, I mean!!)  I have accomplished and experienced many things, but not like what I am planning, going in a different direction, so to speak. And I don’t consider it lofty, just what feels right for me now. We shall see!

First of all, LOVE the photo.

I can completely identify with your thoughts, here. I also often wonder if I should be doing something more. Isn’t that part of the disease of our modern society, though? It seems to me that enjoying life is the REAL mission of our lives—I work to live, not the other way around. Do you feel like you are moving forward, growing, evolving in some way? That’s the key. Just keep moving.

And as you pointed out, you have done SO MUCH already! (With more to come!)

As for Weight Watchers, it does seem to work for many people—but I tend, like you, to aim for moderation.

Bigsis, everybody has to do what they feel is right for themselves! Yes? You need to do whatever you feel you need to do.

Steve, thanks, glad you liked the photo. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve tried to photograph this chair and give it the feeling of dejection that it portrays to me. I think this time I finally captured the right essence. At least I hope so. And yes, I know you’ve struggled with the same kinds of thoughts too. Yes, I am growing through my photography and I guess that is evolution in itself. A few other things too like tackling knitting I have not done before, etc., but those are all small things. Again, I guess small is okay. Thanks for your thoughts on this tough subject! smile

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