This is an old entry on my blog from 2011. It popped up in the side column of the blog "On This Day." I am repeating it here because it's kind of they way I am feeling this morning. I hope you enjoy.

Sometimes when I lay in bed at night and don’t drop right off to sleep, words dance around in my head with no place to go. I’ve had some great ideas for blog posts completely formed in my mind—word for word, sentence by sentence—but when I wake in the morning all those thoughts and words have gone, blown out of my window by the same fan cooling my body. The fan lifts the words and disperses them into the night air, never to all be collected in the same place again.

The following post is a result of my finally getting out of bed to get a pad of paper to write what was going through my mind one night last week.

Our lives are like a woven tapestry. The individual threads and fibers that make it up are our immediate family, relatives, and friends. A tapestry of relationships; all different.

Over time some of the threads fray and break. Whether they just don’t withstand the test of time or it’s just normal wear and tear, some just do not hold up like others do. Some hold true and strong no matter what life throws at us.

Some come unravelled, sadly leaving big gaping holes that never fill back in. Some of those threads that have become unravelled can be picked up again and woven back in, never quite reaching the perfection of the first initial weaving, but still part of the tapestry once again.

Some simply come undone and just hang there and dangle, bereft and alone, with no one caring enough to repair the rift.

Others deteriorate over time, leaving small moth-eaten holes where once a relationship was. Some are too small to even notice.

Many things lead to the ebb and flow of these relationships. We may move away, have different life experiences, or just grow further apart naturally. Let’s face it, life is constantly changing. Relationships and friendships take work and both parties have to participate. It’s a game of give and take. Sometimes you have to give more than you take and hopefully someone on the other end will give you more back when you need it most. Sometimes it’s give, give, give and you get nothing in return. In those cases you have to take a long hard look at the relationship. Do you really want to invest in something that gives you nothing, or at best, minimal results back?

I can also categorize these friendships and relationships into knitting terms.

Garter Stitch:
Those that are lasting and strong.

Cables:
Those that come and go, criss-crossing our lives from time to time.

Felted:
Lifetime bonds.

Short rows:
Ones that don’t last.

Frogged:
Ones that have been given up on.

Today I’d like you to think about your friendships and relationships with others and what kind of person the people in your tapestry think you are. Are you a giver? Mostly a taker? Or do you like to think of yourself as an equally balanced participant?

And, if you are reading this you are also part of my tapestry in some way.

Thanks for sitting through my sleep-starved thoughts.

All photos taken at the New Jersey Botanical Gardens before Hurricane Irene.