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Thursday, September 20, 2012

In somewhat of a funk

IMG 4424

I do hope you’ll bear with me. I am in a funk. Yesterday was pretty good, but today not so much.

Maybe it’s because I spent a good part of the day yesterday going through old iPhoto libraries looking for photos of Sam. Not only did I find plenty of Sammy photos, but photos of deceased dogs, my mom, and happy times at the cabin with all of them. Downright depressing.

Maybe it’s because the day after Sam died I had the patio doors open sitting in the sun room reading and I kept hearing what sounded like a cat meowing outside. I stood outside several times but could never pinpoint the sound. I think it might have been Aileen’s chickens next door making funny noises. Maybe not.

Maybe it’s because I keep catching things out of the corner of my eye that look like Sam in various places in the house. Logically, of course, I know this is impossible but my brain has yet to catch up.

He was just always there.

Maybe it’s because I can’t get the images of the last few hours of his life out of my mind. It was not easy to watch and equally hard being replayed in my head.

It’s a process and I know blogging about him will help. I’m just not quite there yet.

Photo above: My ming aralia plant casting its early morning shadow on the bamboo shade in the sun room.

Comments:

I’ve always felt that one of the greatest benefits to blogging was to get all the gunk out.  Hang in there…but that is easier said than done.  Peace

Yeah, Helene, but most people don’t really want to hear about the “gunk,” do they? Thank you.

I am sorry I am so far away…love to give you a hug.  You know, I have had those same feelings at one time or another.  I get how you feel. Got me thinking about my pets lost, missing my mom remembering happy times at SCP. Thanks for sharing…Take care my friend.

There is no easy advice about handling grief—it’s just a process that has to be endured, as anyone who’s lost a pet will know. We’re with you all the way! Don’t be afraid to write about it!

the only way out is through…. you’ll get through it, it just takes time (( hugs ))

Debra, thanks I felt your cyber hug.

Steve, I know. Thanks.

Maggie, I know, I’ve done it lots before. Thanks for the hug.

You’re absolutely allowed to be in a funk so don’t apologize for it.  We’ve all been there and know what you are feeling. Every time you feed Ebay you are reminded that there’s only one bowl to fill instead of two. You just have to take it day by day.  It WILL get better.

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