Ambiguous statue at Ringwood Manor.

What is the opposite of “going stag?” Doe? Bizarre how there is really no antonym for going stag when you’re female. Going doe just somehow doesn’t seem to have the same punch.

Hey, I went DOE to that party! Yeah, not the same.

But yet that’s where I find myself this weekend. Alone. Doe. Minus stag. Or whatever.

Rick is in New Orleans (trade show) eating those absolutely decadent, gorgeous, mouth-salivating Gulf oysters at the Acme Bar. I was never a fan of oysters until I ate them here. OMG. And Rick was eating them tonight. Without me.

Instead I am here holding down the fort. Three attention seeking dogs and one lonely cat. Hamburgers fried inside; mac & cheese on the side. Hardly the same.

Whatever.

I am pretty much prisoner this weekend. Our town is holding their annual ALF (Autumn Lights Festival) that snarls up traffic and bring tourism to our fair corner of the world. Roads are closed off. Sheer pandemonium. I did grocery shopping today because tomorrow I won’t be able to even get a spot in the parking lot at our local ShopRite.

If that isn’t bad enough, you might be led to believe that the Autumn Lights Festival refers to the beautiful changing of the leaves in our fair town. Au contraire, mon ami! It celebrates a traffic light in the middle of town! Hurrah! I know. When I found out what it was all about I was pretty bummed out too. They close off a major artery in town and fill it with food, booths and what have you.

I would normally go up to Warwick on Sunday to the farmer’s market but unfortunately this Sunday is AppleFest Day which is also immense crowds of people (we’ve been before and it’s not fun), so I am steering clear of there too.

What is a doe to do?

A traffic light?  Wow…that’s crazy.  Crowds are OK once in a while but for the most part, I’d much rather enjoy the pleasure of shopping when there are few people around.  Some years ago, I would do my grocery shopping at around 11 PM because the local Shop Rite was empty.  I guess they got a clue because they’re no longer open those wonderful hours.  Thank you, suffering economy!  Happy weekend to you…enjoy!

Isn’t it ironic that communities host these sorts of events to give people something to do, but many people stay away because there are just TOO MANY PEOPLE? (I would have the same impulse, not being a crowd-lover myself.)

The female equivalent of “stag” is “hen,” I think—which just sounds bad in any context. You can’t say someone is “going hen” to an event, but there are “stag parties” and “hen parties.” Not a very complimentary term, I agree.

Helene, yeah a traffic light. Woohoo.

Steve, Hen? really?  So if “going hen” to a party is not correct, what is?? Stags are deer, or are least a male variety of that species so the opposite you would think would be an animial of at least the same species!  So when women go to an event alone, what is the correct term??? Stag is just so, well, masculine. I could go further here but I won’t. I see hen parties of women clucking and laying eggs. Not a pretty picture at all.

Yeah, I guess stags and hens are only opposites in the party sense, not in the “going stag” sense. I have no answer!